The Value of a Brisk, Late-Night, Run

We live in a busy time, there is no doubt. A tried and proven means of combating stress and disillusionment is a quick pound of the pavement. It need not matter where one live, what matters is they live, and in doing so one will find they accrue much angst, anxiety, anger, and frustration — running can become your catharsis, your temporary relief from that which ails, and something to rely on for subsequent alleviation.

Your venue need not deter your efforts; whether serene upscale, and naturalistic; or frenetic, dilapidated, and concrete, all urban scapes offer unique value as they morph in to the track in which your run will take place. Take for instance the east end of a particular city: low income residential framed by a quay, home to myriad of industry that processes foreign matter, and in possession of no discernible urban design schema. It is a wonderful place to run, and in doing so much will be discovered about the surroundings, the nooks and crannies, that the slow pace of walking or the gloss of driving, has detached the average citizen from.

Don’t let stride or form bother you. We are creatures that have evolved in to the form of a biped. Let your evolutionary past reign free as you gallop through the terraces, boulevards, and crescents of your chosen milieu.

Do it at night, as this is the best time to do many things. I have the tendency to vomit when exercising early on in the day, so a great majority of my strenuous activity is reserved to the post meridian hours. Running at night allows you to witness how the preceding day has impacted the region. Much can change within a day, and these alterations may be revealed to you during your run: is their carnage where there was once peace, did a neighbor take the initiative to clean up that litter, is that new spray paint, who now lives in that alley, has that thicket of trees lost or gained foliage, is that a new light, new apartment, new project, new family, new road — there is an infinite number of minute and substantial improvements and degradations occurring everywhere at every moment in time within your city and others like it, and running is one way to become apprised of this constantly unraveling ticker of change.

One need not buy specialized gear to run outside, and you probably have much of what you need already: many people living in this day in age are exceptionally shallow, possess low self-esteems, and try to mitigate their self-hatred by adorning excessive and specialized gear for their various hobbies. Damn near invariably these people run in the morning, as they dutifully follow some CEO adage that is meant to set them up for life success, but don’t let their sneers at your ruggedness and athletic monasticism deter. Cotton shorts and a stained t-shirt will do the job fine. If you get cold or uncomfortable the most simple solution is to run at an accelerated pace until warmth occurs or care subsides. Feet, admittedly are an important thing to protect and care for, so test out what you have and if discomfort pursues invest in something more advanced. Run these shoes in to depletion. Your running shoes are what symbolizes you as a runner, but the correlation between them and you unfolds in an inverse fashion- the dirtier they are the cleaner you are in the process of becoming; their tight, your loose; and as their sole depreciates yours will reanimate and surge forth anew.

Do run during inclement weather. This approach has several added benefits: i) your chosen setting will be less populated with others ii) integrating with your ecology in all its forms helps mold a fully-formed perspective and, ii) it is a refreshing experience.

Forgo the watches, pacing, GPS, map-tracking, and overall neurosis when it comes to the venture. It should be predetermined what you are working towards: marathon, anaerobic conditioning, or nothing in particular, and allow your gait to assimilate accordingly. We have the capacity to gauge all of these things as long as intention is known, or at least prior to heavy handed technological influence we did, and maybe you will discover that you still do.

One will find, like with most things, that it takes some time for running to become enjoyable. The first 10–15 minutes of an individual run and the first few weeks of developing the habit may be exceedingly unpleasant. One feels robotic in their movements, the joints- medieval constructions ready for the scrap heap, the mind scurrying in many different directions, enumerating the myriad tasks that you have left unfulfilled at days end, and the incremental pace at which you initially tread, seemingly spanning no distance at all will all, will all serve to temporarily harden the aforementioned character defects which running is meant to alleviate. With persistence, a confident stride, and a cessation of thought, breakthrough will eventually be made, and one enters a meditative state of thoughtless pace- pud ump, pud ump, pud ump. Only rubber hitting your chosen surface, mechanical in nature, like the smooth piston of a pneumatic system, never erring, never vacating its post and duty, and it is with this assurance progress is made. In this mindset, real distance can be covered, real pace can be achieved.

The 2000’s

2000s, a brief pause but an energetic and innocent start. We learn how our new tehnology works, create new technologies that build off of the basics. To increase efficiency, decrease reliance on finite resources, increase equality for standards of life : those with high specialties use their skills and attributes for those others which are seen to be below them, or for those desirous of higher positions, or for a seemingly random selection, or for those who have been mistreated. A blockage exists around remote communities, or in communities who reject this specialized technology : those with the skills are usually unable or unwilling to leave their own community of technology, which would require them to employ more basic methods to reach the others. And who wants the help? The conveniences of our technological society come laced with poisons or acid which corrodes knowledge and tradition, so those who do want these conveniences are those who consciously decide to jump on to this new and shiny and datic vehicle, or those who are without thought or recognitioin of the tradition or stability or benefits of what they’ll leave behind. Who are those who don’t want to join this viscous and airy empire? They exist in our own country, with you, often bitter or consciously rejecting certain aspects of the new technologies, accepting others. Can we call them hypocrites, those people who choose to avoid or deride this progression? Why are they so accepting, for example, of the new technologies of convenient transportation and dress but they will reject others of social interaction, global sharing, ease of creation? It’s only still beginning, again.

Information, technique, energies and awareness have piled up, not like a garbage heap but like the settling of sediment, or a condensation, and we use one knowledge to increase others, use the awareness of one culture to enrich an other. We conquer and kill with no regret because we know what we do improves and furthers humanity. It’s a theatre performance, seen through a screen. We respect those who impose their cultures on others (Alexander the Great) and envy those who have long ago reached levels of technique, ability, craft, refinement, levels in fields which we have yet to reach (China). We want the Congo, we infiltrate it’s exteriors with resources, education, cameras, experts, and first we try to glean their culture, maybe their knowledge and beliefs, then to glean their people, their resources, a light excursion with death and rescue.

Should we speak of the 3000s? Why not discuss the future, the near future? But when the 1100s seem distant, and it seems surreal that similar conversations and lifestyles took place then, the future looks similarly vague. Understand the past, understand the future. Why reject the tidal progression? Increasing and decreasing, wettening and eroding, and I think we have a long time to live before the pool dries up.

2000s, a time of training, with rudimentary skills in advanced technology forever reaching to grasp an elusive utopia of perfect convenience and harmony, constantly being reminded of our proximate past and primitive present. We live where we want to live. And what’s the point? To alter humanity’s destiny, give a complete unnatural or not wandered upon and harvestedly obtainable life, extend our knowledge and in doing so our confusion with our deeepening loss of reason? We become upset when someone dies and yet we set goals which will only be achieved in future generations.

In the midst of all this change and progression of aims and abilities we can be relatively unchanged. Harvest from what is worked for, fought for, making irrational movements and refusing the lights of love and learning to shine on the paths, surroundings, lifes and existances around us. « I don’t want to live. » There is still no comprehensive light saying that instinct is spiritual. Don’t tell me that it isn’t, tell me you understand but that there are other words more suitable to aptly explain. Don’t argue that we are different from animals, instead understand that our own set of abilities is taking us further than any other animal has gone that we have ever known. But on the same page we mourn our losses…we expect rewards.

So what are we speaking of, today? Morality, skills and advancement in grain farming, advice for upset wives, who is feeling unjustly punished or restricted, the agreement with those in power, the potential which lies in « soon », the pitiable state of others’ lives, or of their deaths, the appreciation of uselessness, which is known as the benefit of escape, or an unpursued interest, or a technology of distraction, and we speak honestly, guardedly, conscious of the perception of « us », consciously or unconsciously, or we speak oblivious, self centered, masterbating our egos and sense of worth through the motions of our throats lips and tongue, and we tie together current truths, better seen as perceptions, to create chains of reasoning which all support the beliefs that we are the best, and we have gone furthest, and we are important, crucial, practical, right. And none of this can be criticized, unless you ignore the idea of passing knowledge through generations, and don’t fear confronting the beliefs of « tried and true ».

***When I took off my pants last night I saw a penis in the year 2015. When I searched through my imagination I saw a penis in the year long before we used this calendar. It was darker. Then I saw a nordic penis, ageless, and tomorrow’s penis, peerless.***

Let these fumes of our years pass over us, because this time is not an illuusion, and we should sense it as it passes under our nostrils, so that we may enjoy it as it permeates and spreads our dead bodies. I wish that there is a rabbit running, somewhere, right now. And there probably is. Take a photo of a bull as he runs off of a cliff – QUICK! – turn around and run away before you see where it goes! Develop the photo, send it around – where is the bull now? That example is dated, but the idea is timeless. How can the currency of now be defined? Or how can it be proven that the mother of your great-grand-mother loved the feeling of sand between her toes? Your simplicity as a human makes you an easy target for manipulation, but thankfully we are in control, and have little to do but enjoy the calls of birds, which become diverse near bodies of water. Or how can it be explained that tomorrow a human who has recently left the planet Earth will be moving further away, alive, and will give us answers to questions we think of as he travels, which in turn gives us more questions? We all want a great general truth. We are the Egyptians in America. We are the stratified society where those below are close to the achievements and aims of the pointed empire, but that are so removed as to not have any individual say or influence.

There is this, but there is also the open possibilities – any level, any say can be attained through individual work towards it. There is this, and there is also the situation where the happiest people are for the majority those removed from the society. Why does it feel so different? Was St. Augustine learning of and dealing with the same expectations of yesterday and tomorrow? There is this, but there is also some difference… we have to see the very real change which the ability to believe in shifting our lives to an other planet has brought… but atfer that transition, we can go back to worrying about the intellectual garbage and energetic spewings of our neighbours.

Where is our sense of adventure? We crush through wilderness, through bush, and we imitate the calls of coyotes. I love it when we pick up what we want and venture around, beating, killing, walking, balancing. We all love it when we are able not to conquer, but to set forth in rhythm and be with what we know, but we also love a cold-hardened control and ownership over the lives and resources of others. Generosity is ambiguous, and it becomes a trait shown in courtesy. How can we recognize the starting position we have taken, and do we need to? Like understanding, recognition is a useful but unnecessary luxury. Better is to love other people and their lives, you and your life, and to strive for what you want, because alone or not, like it or not, you’ve not independantly or solely desired.

But it’s claimed we are entered into the time of scientific religion – no more gods, no one god, but we have the realization and practice that we can discover the root causes of reactions and natural phenomenon, using tools and harnessed knowledge to explain the world we know. Gods’ names and their relations have been replaced with isolated chemicals and minerals, laws of physics and even the science of social interactions. We’ve determined that exposure to poisonous situations and people can affect the mind just as a corrosive substance against the hull of a boat – these are topics which are studied indepthly by many, and the result is that we are coming to know the layout of once secret worlds just as one might know the layout of his home country. There is no wrong in the attaining and wondering of this knowledge – it is a part of our continuing process of getting to know our surroundings in pursuit of safety, in pursuit of lengthening our lives (« there has never been seen a mountain lion in this area, it is safer to walk through than that other area where many have been seen. » And this is probably right. « But bring a gun. »). A common and simple argument against the idea that science has destroyed gods is that if a god had made and placed a caribou on this earth, then he must have also been the one to make and place chromium here, and set it in relational motion with all others. I don’t think that chromium and caribou were consciously created of available materials. So have we really entered into it, then? The age of the religion of science? If I can say no, others can say no, many have no idea what it means, and this seems to me to be justification to say that we have not, just as Rome never entered into a Christian age. Whether those with power, money, and influence make laws and construct buildings with an idea in mind or the facade of a reason, it does not make those ideas real, nor does it spread them to others. Personal belief is entirely different person to person, and new ideas are adapted to and worked around individually.

So is the argument that we have changed, or that we have not changed? Some evidences of not having changed are obvious, like our basic animal instincts of greed, generosity, desire to reproduce and survive, and our building of residences and collecting of or migrating to food, but there are some obvious changes : communicating across distances in speeds not possible with any prior visible technology (barring telepathy which we have not accepted), the relatively recent progressions and abilities available from the harnessing of electricity and other waves, the ability of our minds to realistically think and communicate in scales bigger and smaller than ever before, and the obvious and ever present change of being able to remember and apply all of our remembered past. The sole fact of my having grown in North America gives me access to much actual knowledge not available to Leonardo da Vinci or the Egyptians or the pre-European contact Americans or the Aztecs or… to boil it further we could think about how I, myself, have access to much information and opportunity not available to any others, and to boil further, that the shifting in any increment of the space or time of my birth or so many other variables would significantly alter(exposing and covering) those availabilities, but we are(my aim) aiming a little more general right now. What this verbal coolie is trying to explain is that even though there are clear changes, there should be no hesitation in affirming when confronted with the assertion that we have remained the same.

And to where are we going with all of our new technologies, our satellites and microwaves, our tazers and tunnel-borers, combined with our old technologies, our pastured cows, our knives, our jars of honey and balls for sport? Have we set a chosen destination? One day the satellites will become functionless(or differently functioned) metal in orbit, but before that? Where is the pinnacle of our upward climb? We do not know, we surmount heights in the dark. The dark tunnel is revealed in solitary flashes of light to be a plain, to be a mountain, to be our patch of lichen growing on a seaside rock, to be a descending hole passing coolness on the way to heat and fire, to be a floating rippled cloud with ivy foot-holds…

We are living in a time of determination, with a view of practicality which shades our spiritual and natural realities. What can be done by the majority, the heavy swaying and buzzing mass of people on this earth to understand and hold the subtleties and freedom of choice, of appreciation, maybe even empathication for the long existances and dense experiences of all, such as the new baby, the rocks, the vibrations of sound, the old baker? Even time can be appreciated, for imagine what one whole second contains as it lives everywhere. Why would anyone hope for a wider appreciation of life? How does this relate to our calendar years of the third millenium? In it’s timelessness the knowledge of living amidst an imaginable infinity of experinces of what is around us definitely applies to us today. As much as this particular technology is uninteresting to me, it applies evenly to trucks, airplanes, and the experiences set off in and around them, in our vehicle centered society. We could be moving away from the proliferation of physical movement but I can’t tell yet, tell me in 1500 years. Is this a part of our legacy, or to embellish the idea, the desire to physically be in ridiculous places?; « I have been in the deepest part of the ocean (that we’ve acknowledgedly found). It wasn’t interesting, but I was there. » I love being in ridiculous places, maybe because ridicule stabs a hole which exposes unsees potential. Ridicule this : in every, every location, there exists a depth of specialness which could be gorged on until death, the perception of which depends on the amount one is able to grasp the past of it’s surroundings. Some fancy a standing city, with social growth and conscious-set lines, while others prefer the grovy or flat expanses which nature untouched by human design or hand gives. There are bountiful examples above and below this, and this is true in the 2000s as it was in the past and will continue to be for as long as there are creatures who feed off of what is around them milling about anywhere. So then with such simple needs to be filled, what excuse is there for starvation? One possibility is the inability to travel quick enough from one dying environment to an other which thrives. Since there is also the unwillingness to leave a dying environment or to recognize it’s sparsening, can we say that starvation is a balanced mix of low or inappropriate natural abilities and bad choices? It could even be that starvation can result from not recognizing the open nutrition available. Where this is pointing is the point that through our increasing awareness of the world and our co-inhabitants, we have seen the enormity of starvation which affects our intelligent and shrewd and willing species. This gives us new moral questions of whether to feed them generously like a beggar in the past or present, maybe uncalled for, or to let them continue as the distant cultures and species which they’ve previously been to us. Unfortunately, the ability to come to awareness of distant(or close) peoples’ pains is not new, and the human nature of many has shown that it is more desireable to avert the eyes from this news, and to seek instead the similar equivalent of a placatingly light fare of floating feathers. This being so, let me ask and answer for my self what is the purpose of reading and writing like so if the majority of individuals want none or little of it : it is because any few who care to, do wield immense power to change, which directly or through observation can cause sweeping awareness and action.

This is the 2000s, or it is better said to be now, and though the end is close and I do not expect any greater difference than what can be obsered in young and old shrubs and rocks falling from cliffs, I stand here arguing that it is better to grasp or reside within what we trouble to change and prolong and engage and learn of. Countless people feel locked away and every rock holds the key. I can’t look around without feeling the need to weave dried grasses into ropes, and to lift the water with my hands. Yet there are more impactful pursuits, such as those pursued by they who have trumped our genealogical eyes and have created orbiting stars to be seen by us here on earth. Gracias that these stars increase our vision in concise ways. We can now focus all the better on our enjoyment of food.

I don’t know what else to tell you. There are shitloads of people in prison, coming over or already past the shock of being cooped up, we eat what others grow for us, mostly, the poorer majority who view the power they lack as evil are moving into a middler class, and there begin to be comfortable in the luxuries of corruption or, if they understand better their place, there is an honest progression through capitalism and generosity. We benefit through violence and we are heavily influenced, to not admit to being controlled, by comfort, convenience, security, and safety. -R.S.A.J.B.

He is just not fitting in.

Self-loathing had the entire society within its grip.

The people there wanted for death as they struggled to live. Many of them had never known real struggle, as  a largely privileged class of they had not been acquainted with the spectrum of human suffering that had been engraved upon the latitudes of history. They maintained only the light etchings of  bygone strife, yet had convinced themselves that they had it hard, that life was difficult, and that others existed only to inhibit their own progress.

Physical restraint or formal prosecution, at the hand of a master, had never been known by these people, yet their spirits and resulting expressions dawned the fallen orientation of a slave or prisoner. They were free, more free they thought, than any people in any given time.

Nothing here was as it appeared. The veneer was of health, prosperity, progress, but  within dwelt a long-decaying noxious build-up just waiting to express itself, waiting to show-up and ruin their day and all subsequent dreams and desires.

Theirs was a vast wasteland of intellectual and moral rot, all of which suavely masqueraded as progress and freedom. Everyone there had subscribed themselves to a variety of genres and sub-genres, and when they could not find a suitable place, they and those easily convinced of participating in and from some mutual status, would sever off and form there own thing, their own identity: perversion, seeking, self-aggrandizement, fanaticism, and an impressively myopic outlook were qualities most of them seemed to have mastered. Organized religions had never coincided so well and thrived as such.

How many sensed that something was wrong?

Some, or someone, once defined evil as the unbending desire for more. If this is true, then the devil had permeated every nook and cranny of their flanked, destroyed, flailing and pathetic excuse for a civilization.

Or, maybe he had lost his mind, was not adjusting well to the difficulties and realities of human existence- not accepting, adopting, and integrating quickly conditions. Perhaps she just needed to relax and let go – to just consume and let herself become consumed.

He lay though, in a state of curiosity, wondering if there was a better way, fantasizing about the exclamation of self-immolation – after all, sources of ignition existed all about.







Interesting successes of youth are abundant but who can tell their true impact, their actual reach? Whether pioneering the social and artistic possibilities of new technologies, or re-interpreting traditions such as playing music, like those young jazz musicians in Toronto, it can’t always be seen what will die quickly or thrive through it’s influence. There comes, in the exposure and creations of youngsters, a couple of possibilities; on the one side there are those, usually aged, who champion the work for whatever reason – it’s novelty, excitement of innovation, self interest, vicarious pleasure or success – and there are those of all walks and vintages who deride the work and the creator(s) for reasons given as immaturity, lack of experience or understanding or appreciation of the history, trade, tradition, etcetera. There are other factors and effects of youth’s talents and successes but I’d like to focus only on the sword that they encounter that on one blade pushes against them, attempting to stop and murder their climbing efforts in the bud, and on the other side can act as a clearing tool, beheading and mascerating those who try to prevent progress through denial, obstacles and processes of dulling. This action of youth energetically striving forth and changing the static landscapes of technologies and life’s possibilities will go on forever just as it always has, through natural means of a newly introduced element able to infiltrate areas that are out of reach for the matured, slow and engrained existances there before. As aging happens, resistance not surpassed or penetrated will build up more resistance, possibly blocking off whole directions, and it will often require a new introduction or a long period of decomposition to break this resistance. What frightens those who want to prevent this restriction from being shattered is an attachment  they have built to that restriction, or having built on the other side of what is attached to that restriction, which will potentially and most likely be lost once that restriction is broken. Think of it as a coastal city who has built on a piece of land which had already started to fall into the ocean. Even if there are, for whatever reason, huge benefits (or a simple natural desire) to allow that land to fall into the ocean, it is the generation’s best and passionate interest to prevent this drastic change and loss, and they will do whatever they may to ensure it’s attachment to the mainland. If you have built your foundations on a process, it is in your best interests for survival in preserving this process from loss or changes. Then why are attachments disturbed… why are restrictions agitated, why are paths continued which do destroy the defenses and homes that have been built, and house aged innovations of their own? Is it from the desire to conquer for one’s own? The livelihood and survival of others naturally takes an inferior position within the concerns of self progression. Or maybe through the conscious (or not) ideas and pleasures of the “bone in the cogs,” disrupting and delaying or changing the current order and mechanics of a process. Even just these two general ideas should suffice as explanation, as they narrow the continuance of change to two elements: Creation and Destruction. Who has read a book, enjoyed a relationship, seen life, gardened, built, and has not seen the processes of creation and destruction, of “for every action there is an equal & opposite reaction”, Pessoa’s integration and disintegration? So a man finds a platform, uses it to create what he desires, or what is needed, somewhere. A different man sees this platform, realizing that it wasn’t used to it’s full potential, or that it could be used for an other potential direction, and uses the platform to create that vision/necessity, and he has destroyed some of the first man’s creation (space, materials) to build his own. Potentially, these two men are now living side by side, enjoying their own creations, maybe joining together in a synergy to reach new heights or depth on or around the platform. An other man is questing to build too and sees the platform used by the other two, but he does not use use it as a platform as it’s self, rather he uses it as a part, a column or anchor for a larger or wider platform. He has more power, more resources, and builds, unconsciously, maybe unapologetically destroying the creations of the first two men, maybe empathetically assuming it will be in the best interest for the other two men to join his creation, all mutually beneficial. Later, a fourth man arrives, and finds all of these creations abandoned, neglected, and uses the entire creation to house his own flexible desires, and he lives there and fixes it all back up. The main destruction in that situation was the continual creation, the process of building – to build you need materials, to get materials you must destroy the “whole” (Q.marks because a whole is an intangible idea, like how many points of angle does a perfect circle have), and even ideas like “restructuring without impeding growth” or living within pre-established structures still destroys the level of calm or violence, the direction, other processes of decomposition or destruction… ideas which are nebulous but just as tangible, just as rooted in reality as the breaking of a branch. All of this is recognized by those who stand within their thriving worlds on their chosen platform when they see the imminent threat of innovation, and some hold fears of not being able to adapt, to thrive with it, of failure, of defeat. Old kill young, young kill old…old feed young, young feed old. Who dies depends on scales of the force of growth and on weight. So why fight it? Why fight the battle against this one, protecting what is most likely insignificant, when if you join, or influence, or utilize these new capabilities for obtaining material & potential awareness, there are new heights to move towards, there are greater possibilities to lift up higher those further below, new pleasures, new pathways.  Those afraid of this speech are satisfied like a rock in the mud, but don’t dismiss – there are rocks in the mud, there are speeds being ran, and for some reason we think there are angels in the air.




Are You Sure?

Standing next to the ocean, a lake, a river, a mossy pond, the water feels good, feels like home, the water inviting your hand, your toes, your body, your mind, your whole self to let go… You don’t need to, it’s personal – to be algae, the tree on the cliff, the desert cactus. Maybe this is where you end up… This is where you end up, but to varying degrees. Why do you want this, is this where you came from? Small droplets of water on leaves, on desert cactus spines after rain, smaller vapour but condensed, the water moving through tree roots, carried in soil, in your skin, the orvallo, the Galician word for imperceptible water in the air, falling, mostly at night, landing on plants, on sleeping dogs, on the tiles of roofs… this ocean, this body, laying and moving perceptibly or not before you, grouped, attached, moving, swallowing your toes… I am an animal killing life before me before I die. I appreciate the life, I relish observed beauty, I want sunsets on mountain ranges to last forever but as seconds die so do we and there is no true end, only the eventual starkness, and it’s pristine beauty, but before that there is SO MUCH. We live, we die, we decompose, disperse, we nourish, we wait, condense, are sealed, exposed, taken up, taken in, used as materal, forever re-used as material, parts of what futurely lives and dies, sinks and swims, but never only water… What does water give off, around it – a power, an energy, an atmosphere, a visible airy soul around each globule, this is what you become with time, if there is enough time in this world. The scientific religion has destroyed the primal conscious thought of a special zone for after life, exclusively for those with consciousness, deers not allowed, through it’s proving, demonstrating, shouting about multitudes and manies, through time, introducing knowledge which renders us smaller, common, though no less beautiful, no less complex, no less perfect and perfectly situated, for what it can not destroy is the dea, the action of destiny, the super-physical draw of certain life to certain circumstance, the encounters along paths not consciously realized (destiny, kismet, fate, does one word suffice? This is an idea better shown, better learnt through experience) and it is a pity A PITY so much of this experience is vicarious. For if you experience you may understand and therefore enjoy your entrance in to water, into immersion. Who will not die? You believe that your soul is Tutankhamun’s re-appropriated? That is great, and now what? This knowledge is enough to satisfy your desire for high living? I believe that the fly who bothers me, flying in and out of my eyesight, threatening to land on my pages and lay eggs in my ears or behind my eyes is a prominent historical figure as well, existing next to me to teach me a vital lesson, to distract me momentarily which will in turn set into motion a grand, chaotic, climactic series of events, and so I don’t kill it, I don’t ignore it, but I don’t revere it as the only, I won’t devote my life into informing the world of it’s importance, I will (have the courage to) heed the lessons and live until…

Can you imagine that as you are right now, one bubble of oxygen or an other gas has risen from ocean floor, deep, deep, ocean floor, and is rising through gravity and friction towards the surface, and that it might be impeded by fish, shark, creature, plant, garbage or the hull of the boat? There is so much to also say it will rise, of it’s own accord in chemicals, aesthetics, the life and motion through the water around it, to live it’s existance as that one bubble before it is shattered while still in the deep, scattered, or opened, released into the new habitat where it is not foreign, it is not as one moving directionally and relying on open path, such the same as our earth, for there is larger, there is sharper, there is that one perfect obstruction of such a design to pass defenses and penetrate the heart of life, scattering what has been accumulated and joined through movement, stewing, existing in environments, but utilizing the perspective of that final starkness we can see that there is no negative, there is no problem, there is no positive, Ghandi’s teachings, is it really important? Or has there been life for longer than we currently think, have they thought that we would exist, can we envision a hopefully living future? These common ponderings are none but pauses, barely enriching, though enriching, the trajectory on which we continue. Argue that determination is important, that effort is decided and survival, important survival, depends on effort, and it will be shown in past that those who build the right structure live and that those who build will build and that those who do not build will not build and that effort is important as it is an existance, you can try to stop this and watch your self fail, or succeed through effort. What all of that was implying is that all scatters, all exists composed of cohesive differences, all moves, and though important, your efforts will finally be futilized through the movement of time and the existances surrounding them. This is all physical, there is no split. We are eaten, decomposed by, destroyed, absorbed by those existances which cause friction around us.

-Written by Samhil


Who did we come here to see? I come from European descent (not my self directly, and not from the mainland) and as we all sit here, work here, are here, die here, it brings up a nice question of “why the expansion?”. Not asked to leave our European homes, not forced to leave out of desperation, for the European continent and it’s African and Asian (mapped and known) neighbours have enough land and resources to ensure a full life of resource, opportunity, and adventure. Imagine a life in North Russia, West China, Northern Congo… Why the desire for uncharted land? Though plentiful, apparantly, and romantic, very, it was largely a collective individual leap of faith on to likely foreign boats to move with no hotel or guesthouse assured at it’s other port. It becomes a question, or a statement, about human nature and animal instincts, rather than a Geographical logic; I think that this (and it’s not the first nor will it be the last situation of this kind so) and others, goes past or astride of survival. Legacy? Escape? Luxury? A legacy of having left, a legacy of having started. The escape from the same, from restrictions, from culture, from comfort. Luxury of relishing the new flavours of self-determined taiiloring of style and quality. And one more reason… Love, a sense of destiny, a sense of gaining, finding “self”, focusing on an apparant lack of Narcissusistic self interest, but then comes aimless, then comes thoughtless, then comes greed, then come malice, and punishment, resign, lunacy, ego, control, disillusionment, loss. The boat must have had a distinct flavour – in hectic, in quiet, not the solitude being new but the uncertainty. After the initial excitement – the men first hearing in the bar, at the docks, the towns hearing, passing message along through skilled trade routes and young excitement and petty social rounds and the other first evidences – there came stories, corroborating stories, proovs, the actual occasional Good, the stories of furs from there and the sight of them, increasingly adventurous stories, stories of deaths, stories of marining, and of the people who lived there (enjoying their visit), identical land, identical shore, the trading and business, this new Business Commodity, some savage stories that all craved but also some powerful ones, this isn’t Rome and it’s historic conquering and warm open luxury, it’s not the high curiosity of style and curiously high standard of living but this is a new idea, their generation’s land, their hope for the new Empire of freedom and sustainability. And the prices go low, and the people get scared, as they do in the face of unexperienced binding scarcity, and it forces their dreams up into reality, they think, they speak, they plan and so little so little they realize an increasingly possible and realistic plan. They jump, and build up gets torn up and action happens, the hands are at the keys, goodbyes, practical spacing and weight are rapidly decided,realizations of how dear they held that hill, that room, that neighbour, that routine. And who cares? To who does it matter, their leaving? Only those able to see past the petty pain and illusive separation of physical distance. As hard as it may be to admit it, and as many would seek to ignore it, any end is possible through any means. So the boat rolls out unto the first night and more, and the days could be imagined as beautiful and exciting in so many senses, and it is all routine, normal, one more experience to bring over  before any dream of an easy sleep. And the completion of that task the only method of sleeping easy… Was there surprise at the dis-embarking? Surely there could not have been regret, true regret. Anxiety… on different levels, based in and corresponding to levels of preparedness, Watch what comes next: some straight to their land, dealing with the initial consequences like the second, or forming partnerships, bonds, communities, or setting on further to their logic of knowledge of quality in effort, or the high-strung march of those with interest, or the home, the setting so close, so organized, well planned to achieve productivity, comfort, or those who through plans too had scouted out materials and spot and achieved their ration through application and longevity, or there came a quiet, maybe, shrewd, surely, emblazer with an ethical passion and a relentless crushing effort garnering, growing, skinning their rewards, or those with different ideas, traditional ideas, coming to attempt the triumph of the past with magically studied insight. Yes, yeah, they loved the land, struggled with and in the land, saw the earth. But there were people here, who not all centuries of comers got to meet before they decided they were settled. Who were they, the strangers, where did they come from? Were they animals? It could be believed that many thought these people were more basic, a somehow non-exposed branch of humans, with no civilization; but concessions were made at every generalization – language, beliefs, culture & style, tradition, but so foreign for it was known that even the Indians, though they too were thought of as more basic, had many, many, many advances technologically, completely, religiously, and even if it was pulled from the least of the European’s knowledge, there was still the assumption that Indians engaged in Agriculture. This must have been the golden era of colonial European North America, pure and beautiful. So many people, but with no great engrained assumptions, the naiivish thoughts still taking stock, still willing to learn, an excitement over-riding the usual fear of those grouped together – the fear of penetration, of loss of gains – and the reservations were let go to reap the benefit of this new land. As an aside, maybe the Golden Era of Colonial European North America is yet to come –  with time’s effects of cohesion and condension, maybe this growing continent is not yet dense enough to be compared with gold. Going back, there was relationship between the farming new settlers and those who were here before, those with the knowledge of land, the bands of strong and mobile, or weak and hidden, largely interested in this new development, using what was brought new, understanding the longeviity, understanding the mechanics, not understanding what cruelty lay behind expansive desire and private, distinct conferences on the nation building potential of this land. What was wanted? Virgin land, loaded with resources. A stubborn human’s pleasure in murder as progress. The plague which granted technological freedom, an eschewing of those disgusting holds on progress and open ambition. This story has not ended – choices are yet to be made.

ℜiley J.A. Breen 1